Project sprinkles

I am a lifelong learner and the learning curve right now is STEEP! I am having to learn how to manage my depression and keep all the little humans alive, healthy, fed, entertained, clean and clothed. Myself too for that matter.

Just when we (the hubs and I) get things figured out and have our groove on (get your minds out of the gutter!) one of the wee lads moves up a developmental stage and we have to say sayonara to that rhythm.

I feel like I have found the solution to most of life’s mysteries. SPRINKLES! When rigid, intentional planning goes to the wayside I pull out the sprinkles. I sprinkle in a little dance off with the 2 year old. I sprinkle in a little ab workout with the infant. I sprinkle in a spanish lesson during snacktime. I sprinkle in a little blogging during….??? Oh, that’s right… during JAIL BREAK!

When all else fails, I have a jail break. I have the most fabulous friend who helps me get a couple hours here and there to just. be. me. I am so very grateful! The rest of the time, …. SPRINKLES!!!! We all know everything is better with sprinkles anyway.

sprinkles

When

Project American Express

I feel like I have been running up a huge credit card bill.

I am in debt because of all of the night’s sleep I have had to lay on the altar. I am in debt because I don’t get to go to the bathroom alone. I am in debt because I have to leave the dishes, the laundry, the floors undone for the sake of relationship.

To cook with a baby on one hip, and the other one pilfering the contents of my cupboards is a privilege. And, it is fun!

But, I think I have to put myself on a budget. At some point, something in my psyche (or the crazy haired/eye bagged lady staring back in the mirror at me) is going to have to say.. “JAIL BREAK!” We all need a moment. We need a moment to recharge. We need a moment to fill up. We need a moment to just be us. We need that moment to just be us so that we can run up the tab again and still find it fun.

Project Short Leash

I have been learning a lot lately about baby steps and short leashes (not short buses.)

Nothing is built in a day. Not a business. Not a habit. Certainly not a home (I don’t care what reality tv says on the matter!)

Right now, my life is fairly rhythmic. It is almost easy to manage a short leash…. almost…..except when life goes barrelling after…. a squirrel??

My habits get challenged daily. Because of this, I have built in some non-negotiables. I learned the idea of ‘decision fatigue’ lately (Crystal Thompson @flourishintoyou.com)

When something just ‘is’ then we don’t have to even worry our pretty little heads about the ‘yes’ or ‘no’ of the thing. I don’t have to ask myself whether or not I am going to wear a shirt today, or feed the baby, or flush the toilet (you’re welcome!) These are non-negotiable.

Season changes and life changes bring the risk of mood changes; but when we are equipped with non-negotiables then our bottom line won’t leave us in the bottom of a deep dark hole.

I am curious… what are some of your non-negotiables? I would love to hear your comments!

Project ‘Much ado about nothing’

So, yeah… I just ripped off Shakespeare…. (btw… if you google that particular piece of work just know that the cinematic version with Emma Thompson has lots of butts in it.)

Once upon a time, there was a girl who was fearless. She didn’t shy away from ner a bully or a challenge. One day, she decided that she wanted to invent something out of nothing…. well not quite nothing. In fact, one might say it was quite a bit actually.

You see, her pantry overflowed. Her fridge was packed and her freezer was bursting. Determined not to throw out another head of lettuce or a furry steak she decided to take stock. ‘Surely,’ she said to herself, ‘out of such abundance she could feed her family on a budget for a month.’

Many questioned the wisdom of such an undertaking. Why would she do such a thing?

to be creative with what is already right in her hands.
to be less wasteful. (ie. a good steward)
to challenge herself to grow through taking on something new.

P.S. does anyone have a good recipe for random, unidentified dried goods? (asking for a friend….)

Project Perfection

I think people worry about me when I am silent on social media. Being transparent about an illness such as depression means that seemingly every action or lack of action is scrutinized.

Can I just put everyone (or no one) at ease to let you know that I am ok? I mostly write in my brain these days because I am proud mama to a very busy (and very fast) toddler. In my quiet moments… and those are few…. I konk out.

Other than daily trying to outsmart a toddler (ie get ahead of the chaos) my creativity outlet has just had to wait. I don’t anticipate that little mister is going to get any less active so I am going to be pro-active.

I am practicing a 10-10-10 method. Today at 10 (well actually 10:30 I set my timer to just mind dump… publicly ….. eeeeep!!!!!!!) What I put out will be far from perfect. But it will be real. This is my way of retraining myself to pursue authenticity over perfection.

During this time: my computer has been shut off by little man who was telling me “all done, all done.”

little man has sprayed himself in the face with the water hose (we are outside btw)

little man has dipped the doggie pooper scooper in the pool

little man has run off with my phone and had a very animated conversation

Iris ( the fur baby) has chased a bunny and nearly bowled over the wee lad

little man has climbed on top of the hot tub

Worth it? We shall see! See you at 10 tomorrow … and the next day… and the next….

Project HECK NO!!!!

A sure sign that I am aging is that I err more and more on the side of self-preservation. I won’t say that I am necessarily any wiser in my 40s but I can say that the flesh is no longer as cooperative as it once was.

We are celebrating 1 YEAR of entering the world of foster parenting! I can’t even remember what I did with all the time I had before. And I thought I was busy then??!?

Daily I find myself making choices:

Sleep in a little longer and forego my morning routine (this means some days I may forego pants) or get up early and pray the baby has a huge nap (this means I get a huge nap too.)

Go grocery shopping in the early morning hours (say hello senior citizens!) or race through Costco in the last 15 mins before school lets out.

Vacuum and make the dogs scramble (incidentally .. little mister loves to vacuum) or put on the aforementioned pants.

Attack my rigorous to-do list or play ‘crash the trucks’ with the wee lad.

You get the picture. In my infinite wisdom I find myself more and more choosing love over lists. Time over tasks. Snuggles over sacrifice.

Life is good. HECK NO to efficiency!!! HECK YES TO RELATIONSHIP!!!!

babymemes

Project Mom Jeans

I ripped my jeans. Technically, I did it mostly on purpose. I think what I created is called ‘Jorts?’ They aren’t pretty but they are functional.

My new normal, it ain’t pretty but it is …. functional?!? Umm… nope! Purposeful??! Yes. My new normal is purposeful.

We undertook the adventure of becoming foster parents to infants on purpose. We welcomed a wee little man into our home on purpose. We love and care for him with purpose.

Things I never thought I would say in my 40s:

“He puked inside my shirt.”

“You are getting your wiener all over my blankets!”

“Why are you licking the cat?”

“What’s that?? … oh…. it’s poo. There is poo in his ear.”

So why do it? Because. James 1:27

²⁷Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.