Project Skip Leap

I spent way too long last summer trying to talk myself into jumping off our boat into the lake. When did I become the fearful one? How can I be paralyzed in some ways and so free in others?

In fitness I have learned about muscular hyper mobility as well as impingements. How can one body be so free in some ways and literally/stuck/ frozen/limited in either strength or mobility in others?

I love the word ‘undergird’ .. mostly because it makes me think of girdles .. and I think ‘girdle’ is a funny word. In order to find freedom in my mind and body I have had to go to the core. The root of who I am. The core of my being. The part the girdle holds in place. 😜

My days are not my own right now. My life is not my own for this very busy season. But that doesn’t make me less ‘me.’ If anything, I am more ‘me’ because everything else has been stripped away. It has been stripped away by a pandemic, trauma and loss, our life stage with all of our children and the fact we are aging. Mid life crisis anyone??!

Life is full. Life is crazy. Life can be chaotic. It can be stressful. It is definitely tiring. But our core, the core of our family, of our ‘us’-ness is still consistent.

My core is strong, dysfunctional in some ways but stable in others. But as the plumb line of my life slowly aligns with truth and heals, I know that things will feel better and I will get better at the ‘more’ of life.

Fear doesn’t get to define me. I will not be held back by my body, toxic thoughts, toxic relationships or poor habits. These are things I can control. These are things we all have power over.

What method do you use to find your alignment in your life, your plumb line?

Project Pandemic

We have been trudging through the muck that is the reality of living in a pandemic. As if life in general can’t be a challenge, quarantine is the worst. I have been contemplating a ‘jail break’ since last Friday.

6/8 of our family got covid this month. 1/8 was a scary case. 4/8 of us are fully vaccinated. 3/8 of us are boosted. 1 of the boosted had only received their booster the same day as exposure and subsequently had mild symptoms and tested positive. 2/8 had no symptoms and tested negative (the fully vaccinated boosted.)

Our covid consisted of 4 babies needing constant care 24/7. One of those suffering was on the verge of needing a visit to the hospital. It was scary. Worse still, there was so much whining. I may never recover from that.

This is our experience. We made it through. Praying the same for all of you.

Project SPROINGY

Sometimes I choose to do some things because they are fun. As of January 1, 2022, a lot of people are trying to change their bodies, mindsets, habits and more.

We lay out our ‘resolutions’ and plan using SMART goals. (specific, measurable, attainable, rad, terrific?) — ok, I may have forgotten what the letters stand for.. (R-realistic, T-timely.) Seeing as I forgot when New Year’s Eve was this year and also don’t know what day of the week it is, perhaps SMART goals aren’t for me.

Instead, I am choosing to sprinkle in a bit of play. Not just play with my kids but play for the sake of playing. My form of play currently involves skipping, jumping, dancing, hopping, leaping and crawling. Imagine ‘playing’ and accidentally reaping the benefit of forming a regular practice of body movement. And that regular movement subsequently makes you stronger, leaner, more limber and more importantly releases all of those happy happy hormones that make each day feel just a bit more manageable because of a over abundant sense of well being.

How do you play? How could you incorporate play into your life? You may not want to leap around like I do but maybe you do want to climb up a snowy hillside and slide down on a piece of cardboard. The sky is the limit where our minds and bodies are concerned when we set out with a joyful mindset.

I would love for you to engage with me by brainstorming on what play looks like for you. (This is beyond exercise people! This is embracing your inner child and remembering how to have fun!)

Project Richard Simmons

If I were to choose a word to describe how I feel about Richard Simmons and his legacy of ‘Sweating to the oldies’, I would have to choose the word ‘DELIGHT.’

I have literally had complaints from my downstairs neighbours back in the day for enjoying my Richard Simmons a tad too much. (In retrospect, I didn’t think that one through. I feel I am a more respectful neighbour now.)

We are in another month of code red restrictions in our province. For those with depression, anxiety or any combination of the two.. covid is hard! Chemically speaking, on top of the medication I take, I try and do things physically that increase the happy hormones in my body. I think we all could use a good dose of happy about now.

So, break out your sweat band! Get outside! Get a puppy? (Nope. Scrap that, watch puppy videos.) Learn something! Hug your kids! Eat well! Take your vitamins and think yourself happy and grateful. There is light at the end of all this!

In the meantime, do not tire of doing good.

And now, let’s watch some Richard Simmons! So good!

Project Cartwheel

Once upon a time, I could do cartwheels. The. End. (Ha! If only…)

It is pretty amazing that tiny, incremental steps towards a goal open up infinitesimal possibilities (referring to all of my covid19 induced fitness certifications and licenses—- I am working on my 4th now.)

As I am sure you know, our phones and devices spy on us. Lately, in my social media feed, ads for a pathway to handstands keeps popping up. Surely learning how to do a handstand is the next obvious step in my journey… yes??!??

I am learning more and more that I want the things I do (particularly in the realm of fitness) to be more about function than say becoming a… ??! Fitness guru? Model? Know it all??!

So please, if you hear me saying I am working on my handstands, know that it is only so I can keep myself from falling on my head should such an occasion arise. I am nothing if not Practical.

This message is brought to you by your local ‘Ninjas are us’.

Project Burpee

I was almost sidelined by a burpee. All I needed was one good burpee and somehow I couldn’t get out of my own way.

Fear of: a) tripping over my own feet b) my sports bra failing me c) being judged for being less than perfect stopped me. (Did you notice how I snuck that one in at the end?)

If I waited until I was perfect I would never do anything. So here’s to doing it anyway. If, a) I trip … then I will laugh. b) my bosoms fly.. laugh again (and invest in a better sports bra.) c) someone judges me… well,..that isn’t any of my business.

I am taking my recent fitness instructor training online because … covid. This is an exciting venture and I won’t let a burpee stop me. (Details to come!)

How about we all get out of our own way every now and again and do the thing we feel called to.

Project Gird your loins

You know that squishy part on our bodies where we all store those extra cookies?? That is the place that has been under attack.

The quiet voice whispering lies to you about your worth, your value…?? Can anyone relate? The voice that fills you with doubt and fear about the future? The worry about how to make ends meet? The grief that accompanies a suspension of in person visit with loved ones? The list could go on.

I could write a dissertation on all my personal squishy parts that are oh so tender… but instead I am just going to shine a light on it. By shining a light on it, we can all do battle just a bit better.

Today this song is on repeat. Love. Freedom. Truth. Truth on repeat. Praying for you to find light today.

Project 404

Nothing feels more incomplete than a computer screen that reads ‘error 404.’ (And I NEVER exaggerate…)

I am pretty sure all of us (even as the world is kind of re-opening) feel like we are living out error 404 daily.

In the interest of full transparency, I made a miscalculation concerning my antidepressant. Pre-Covid19, I was feeling good. Like maybe I kicked my depression to the curb good. And so, when my prescription refill got called in by my doctor I didn’t bother to let him know that he was prescribing my earlier dosage. I just went with it. It was only a tiny difference and so I believed that it would be no big deal.

It has been kind of a deal.

Every strategy, system, schedule I had in place pre-Corona got paused. Error 404. ‘Almost everything you know to do to live your life and be well cannot be found.’ Doh!

If we weren’t going through all of the ramifications of a novel virus perhaps all would be well… maybe…

And so, I write this poolside… snorting some vitamin D because that helps. I have a belly full of a antioxidant rich, autoimmune boosting salad. I have let my people know that I am struggling. And I am taking a baby step forward today to do just a bit better. (Which includes my previous, previous dose of antidepressant.)

To be struggling at a time like this isn’t unusual… in fact it should probably have been anticipated. Coulda shoulda woulda. Oh well. That’s me. How you doin??!

Project Crayola

Not to name any names… but someone has been pooping the rainbow around here…. (*cough cough* Iris Bernard who is NO saint!)

It is challenging enough to keep the kids from ‘tasting’ their crayons let alone keep the dog from literally eating them.

Just because it looks good, smells good, tastes good, feels good does not make it good.

Thank you to my giant fur baby for teaching me this surviving covid 19 lesson today.

*Content warning— the following video may either make you smile or make you never read my blog again.*

Project Gold star

I find it pretty hard to plan my life these days. The pendulum swings from one extreme to the other. Either, I rock my day and accomplish a million things, all while looking like a million bucks (meaning I changed out of my night pyjamas into my day pyjamas); or my house looks like a bomb was deployed and I discover that I have someone else’s booger in my unwashed hair. I believe this is where I am supposed to give you a wink and a finger gun and tell you ‘it’s all about balance.’

There is nothing normal about life right now. There is no balance to be had. This is not normal. For me, to be isolated with 3 under 3 without a release valve is not normal or healthy! To not be feeling a bit off would be weird. And obviously I am not weird… 🤪

For others, to suddenly be thrust into the role of home school teacher … that is just cruel and unusual punishment. Cancelled graduations, postponed celebrations, weddings, funerals, births, just to name a few,… is not normal. Not to be trite… but ‘it is ok not to be ok’ in light of the covid 19 pandemic. To be not touched by it in some way would also be beyond weird.

So, today if you leapt out of bed and did your hour long peloton workout at 5:30 am .. gold star for you. If you called in sick to your boss (who happens to be you) because season 3 of Brooklyn nine-nine just sounds better.. gold star for you too!

The reality is, you can do all the right things to ‘feel better’, ‘do better’, ‘be better’, and still feel like crap. But perhaps tomorrow, tomorrow will feel a little less crappy.