Kids say the cutest things. “I can hear your heartbeep Mama!”
Music is my heartbeep. Music gives me a case of the feels when my demeanor would otherwise flatline. Music sneaks into the crevices of my being and ministers to my very soul. In my darkest days, when depression has had a tight grip on me, music has penetrated the darkness and given me hope.
Find your heartbeep so that your days can be a little brighter too.
This is the time of year when I have to work very hard to keep my depression under wraps. It is also the time of year when I get supremely bored, yet find everything boring.
I have been walking a lot lately. I don’t particularly enjoy frosted lashes and frozen nose hair but if I don’t, I fear I will lose my mind. (I accidentally typed ‘wind’ instead of ‘mind’ and then subsequently thought of flatulence.)
Also, how is it possible to sweat and be cold at the same time???
When we got our Bozley neutered, we made the mistake of removing his cone of shame too early. He licked himself raw.
There is a tendency when we are going through stuff to allow our pain to become all consuming through isolation.
Proverbs 17:17 says; “A friend loves at all times, but a brother/sister (friend) is born for a time of adversity.”
Nobody has to do life alone. Let your friends see behind the curtain.
How can you tell the difference between a friend and a sister/friend (not sister wife)?
Friendship is a huge part of the surviving depression equation. Please allow others into your journey. You won’t regret it. Vulnerability is beautiful. Friendship is beautiful.
It is true winter in my city. I know this because: a) my face hurts b) I am wearing socks (hate) c) abs of steel are required to walk down the street while navigating ice ridges and grooves.
With true winter in my city also comes a new year.
My #1 objective in 2018 is to strengthen my core. I intend to achieve this by:
One of my loves has left this world and I am very sad. I want to celebrate my sweet Buttercup because she was the best. Loving her was worth it. 
The English language has been hijacked! “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.” (Inigo Montoya – the Princess Bride)
What if the simple meaning of the ‘#metoo’ hashtag movement stretched beyond denouncing sexual harassment &/or assault? There are a lot of hurts in this crazy world of ours. What if ‘me too’ meant ‘I also’.
‘I also feel alone in a crowd.’
‘I also wake up at 4 a.m. fueled by anxiety.’
‘I also feel misunderstood.’
‘I also am afraid of spiders.’
`I also feel deeply sad sometimes.`
`I also want to auction off my children to the first bidder.`
`I also feel `less than`.`
`I also hate onions.`
`I also feel like I`m doing it wrong.`
`I also think putting on jeans fresh out of the dryer should count as my workout for the day.`
#metoo #ialso — you are not alone.
What are some of your #ialso struggles?
Have you ever noticed that guys of a certain age or life stage are often fully surrendered to the inevitable ‘Dad bod’?
I think the attitude is an enviable one. There is an ease to the ‘Dad bod.’ There is a quiet confidence.
May we all settle into the ‘Dad bod’ mentality a little more today.
P.S. Also, crack (plumber’s) kills.
Here is a list of a few things I have said to actual humans recently:
At a soap store: “Would you like to pick one of those up today?” Me: “I don’t think so, it makes me think of boogers.”
” I just accidentally gave myself a super wedgie.” *said to a new acquaintance*
*to cashier at grocery store* “do you ever judge your customers for their purchases?”
“This place smells like armpits,… old person armpits.”
*to waitress* “did you know your seats make rude sounds? *wiggles bottom around vigorously to demonstrate.*
“this song makes me want to stab myself in the ear.”
re: kombucha “what does it taste like?” Me: “like death and vinegar …. but it is good for you…”
“My name is Sam,…. Starbucks Sam.”
Salesperson at clothing retailer “what do you think of this color?” Me: “I think it is a cross between vomit and baby poo so I guess I will pass, thanks.”
“Do I have something in my teeth? *smiles a toothy grin at a stranger*
“So, I just discovered that I put my underwear on backwards… again…”
*shoe squeak* “You have got to hear this!” *sachets across the floor*
We have clearly established that I may or may not lie about my name sometimes. The funniest was the time that my hubby and I went to a boat show and the salesperson was trying to establish a rapport through repeated use of my non-name. Sufficed to say, we didn’t buy a boat.
Someone asked me recently, ‘what do you do?’ and I was able to say without even an inkling of self-doubt or insecurity that “I take care of my home and family.” This is HUGE! There is no longer an inner compulsion to justify my existence with an itemized, alphabetized list of my accomplishments, degree, or pedigree. Progress. Growth. Peace.
projectlipstickismysuperpower 