Project psssst…

I didn’t even know the word ‘dry shampoo’ when a can of ‘psssst’ found its way into my bathroom cabinet. Perhaps it was a slight misstep in name as it conjures up images of muppets in trench coats asking if I want to buy the letter ‘b’. Nevertheless it is a brand name that is still in my mind over 20 years later.

I think we all make slight missteps in how we brand ourselves in this world where self-promotion through social media allows us to manipulate perception through posts and pics of our very best days.

I am not defined by my depression. It is not my brand. It is just part of my journey. I get to hone in on what really matters in my life because my body throws up cues and warning signals when I misstep. I think rather than an attitude of woe is me perhaps that is a reason to be thankful.

Project ‘the Code’

My husband has a gadget that he can hook up and instantaneously know the issue of our car.

Oh! If only! If only we could hook ourselves up and have a doodad throw the code of whatever ails us.

I feel like my body and mind do give me cues on when things are going awry. But, I have to be paying attention. It is very easy in the hustle and bustle of life to ignore the signs and push through.

When all else fails, I take the time to stop and self-diagnose. Usually, the problem is as simple as going back to the basics of my non-negotiable (which sometimes become negotiable–therein lies the problem) and taking the next right step back to me being me.

Today’s next step is to stop and pay attention. Depression ain’t no friend of mine.

Project Metamucil

Writer’s constipation. It is now a thing.

The overflow of a life well lived is creativity. Creativity without action = bunged up.

Crap.

And so today, I declare, I shall create. Boom.

Project Short Leash

I have been learning a lot lately about baby steps and short leashes (not short buses.)

Nothing is built in a day. Not a business. Not a habit. Certainly not a home (I don’t care what reality tv says on the matter!)

Right now, my life is fairly rhythmic. It is almost easy to manage a short leash…. almost…..except when life goes barrelling after…. a squirrel??

My habits get challenged daily. Because of this, I have built in some non-negotiables. I learned the idea of ‘decision fatigue’ lately (Crystal Thompson @flourishintoyou.com)

When something just ‘is’ then we don’t have to even worry our pretty little heads about the ‘yes’ or ‘no’ of the thing. I don’t have to ask myself whether or not I am going to wear a shirt today, or feed the baby, or flush the toilet (you’re welcome!) These are non-negotiable.

Season changes and life changes bring the risk of mood changes; but when we are equipped with non-negotiables then our bottom line won’t leave us in the bottom of a deep dark hole.

I am curious… what are some of your non-negotiables? I would love to hear your comments!

Project Bicycle

I have an earworm. A Queen earworm. This is concerning because I am terrible at song lyrics. (if you have the Bicycle Race song in your head now… I hope your rendition is better than mine.)

We go on occasional family bike rides. Here are a few things I have learned.

Wear a helmet. They look cool.
Don’t be afraid to break bike laws. (sidewalks are my jam!)
Make sure your bike has a basket and a bell. (see # 1 ie. coolness)
Do NOT wear clothing with bulky seams in your undercarriage. (I can visualize my family cringing as I type this… #worthit)
Do NOT mouth breathe. You will eat a bug.
Do NOT nose breathe. You will snort a bug.

Getting outside right now is my everything. Outside+depression= happy, happy, joy, joy. Try it. You’ll see.

Also, THIS. (you’re welcome)

Project Lipstick

So it turns out it is national lipstick day! Who knew? So I slapped on some lipstick. Why not?

For me lipstick is synonymous with girl power. This may have something to do with:

A) I am a Mary Kay cosmetics rep and Mary Kay the woman and the company are all about girl power!

B) I fully believe in the idea of giving yourself a little pick me up with something as simple as applying a touch of makeup.

Can we take this idea a little further? What if lipstick could represent the idea of caring for the here and now? Embracing the situation we are in and putting our best foot/face/effort forward?

If we are always looking ahead, then we will miss the extravagant gift of the here and now. If we are saving our best selves for the future then I am afraid we will be sadly disappointed.

I promise that if you fail to appreciate the now you will never be happy in the days ahead. Food for thought. Now go thee therefore and apply some lipstick!

Project sink or swim

I think sometimes I try to make life feel too safe, too predictable. Control freak anyone??

Let’s say for example I was a young Saint Bernard … and let’s imagine for a second that there was a flock of geese… and a body of water…. and a fun friend to accompany me… I didn’t know I was designed to swim until I dove in and just did it. Feel the fear and do it anyway.

Some things are just plain worth the risk. Knowing people… worth the risk. Trying something new … worth the risk. Being myself… worth the risk.

So get out there people! Get out there like your flock of geese is just waiting for you!

P.S. today’s post is brought to you courtesy of disgustingly smelly community retention ponds, geese, the number 4 and the letter f … just because.

Project Tantrum

I may be writing this post from under my bed sheets. When adulthood comes a knocking; my inner child may or may not throw a hissy fit.

The reality is, I am an adult and as such have adult responsibilities. I am not talking about the day in and day out things of life but the sucky adult stuff like … I don’t know… applying for extended health care coverage or making RRSP contributions. Barf!

These are the things that make my anxiety levels skyrocket and my decision making ability goes ‘byeeeeee!!’ Then, because depression is a liar… my self worth comes under fire. It is a vicious cycle.

It is very easy to revert back to a tween in my coping … or lack thereof. To quote Chris Evans aka Captain America “I don’t wike it.”

Project ‘Much ado about nothing’

So, yeah… I just ripped off Shakespeare…. (btw… if you google that particular piece of work just know that the cinematic version with Emma Thompson has lots of butts in it.)

Once upon a time, there was a girl who was fearless. She didn’t shy away from ner a bully or a challenge. One day, she decided that she wanted to invent something out of nothing…. well not quite nothing. In fact, one might say it was quite a bit actually.

You see, her pantry overflowed. Her fridge was packed and her freezer was bursting. Determined not to throw out another head of lettuce or a furry steak she decided to take stock. ‘Surely,’ she said to herself, ‘out of such abundance she could feed her family on a budget for a month.’

Many questioned the wisdom of such an undertaking. Why would she do such a thing?

to be creative with what is already right in her hands.
to be less wasteful. (ie. a good steward)
to challenge herself to grow through taking on something new.

P.S. does anyone have a good recipe for random, unidentified dried goods? (asking for a friend….)

Project Hoarder

As it turns out, I am a hoarder.

I am a hoarder of books, ideas, and aspirations. These are the things that fill every nook and cranny of my brain (and sometimes my bookshelves.)

Productivity and creativity are part of my personal prescription for hard days when depression tries to make a surprise appearance. Accomplishing one thing sets me on a path to do one more thing, and then another until I am back on the purposeful path of living life.