Tag: Funny

Project ‘Contents Under Pressure’

When I invite you to dinner, I can almost guarantee it will be ‘dinner and a show.’

I made my blender explode recently. Well, not explode per say, but I did make it spew hot green ‘lava’ all over myself, my cupboards, floor and counter top. #winninglife#domesticgoddess#bettycrockeroncrack

What if we each were a bit more mindful to be kind today? You never know when someone is about to blow.

Project Good Grief

The journey through depression is different for everyone. Think of the happiest person you know, the funniest, the most extroverted, the one with all of the friends. Guess what? They might be struggling through a season of depression.

If I didn’t tell you, you wouldn’t know that depression is part of my journey because a) I smile a lot b) I laugh a lot c) I joke a lot d) I hang out with friends a lot.

For me, depression=my get up and go got up and went.

Recently, with the passing of our beloved Princess Buttercup Bernard Campbell aka Buttersnuff, Flufferbutt, Babygirl, the Sweetness; I have seen some new symptoms emerge. A few of the manifestations were kind of funny:

  1. I have cleaned like a maniac (except I left the dog bones where Buttercup buried them in the house — in the couch, under the table, in the plant, under the  bathmat and in the basement.)
  2. I cooked like a fiend — not for my family but rather for our other dog, Sir Bozley (toots a lot) Campbell.
  3. I cried like a baby while sometimes laughing like a hyena and eventually more like a wheezing old man (visit http://thebloggess.com/2018/01/07/its-the-little-things-yall/ and don’t skimp on reading the comments.)
  4. I have watched so much America’s Next Top Model that I may now embody Tyra Banks (not so much the supermodel part of her but rather her fly dance moves and unique use of the English Language — booch tooch, smize, ‘work it girl’ and much, much more.)

Depression or no, life happens. How we deal is up to us. Remember, nobody is in this fight alone.

Project ‘Glad Game’

I would like to introduce you to someone I am all too familiar with; Madame Poopoo. Madame Poopoo has several aliases:  Negative Nelly/Nancy/Nathan, Debbie Downer and more.

Madame Poopoo offers criticism over encouragement. She squashes dreams. She squelches creativity.  Madame Poopoo wallows in negativity. She feels it is her duty to give people reality checks. Madame Poopoo dwells in all of us at one time or another. Male or female, young or old, Madame Poopoo reigns supreme.

Let’s all be a Pollyanna instead. What are you grateful for today? Who can you encourage today?

Project Winter 101

For your amusement I thought I would share about how I handle Winter.

  1. I don’t (Winter is hard! I want sunshine and beaches 24/7)
  2. I own appropriate Winter clothing which allows me to go outside and not die
  3. I snort Vitamin D (Well, actually I drink it … except for that time I choked on it and it came out of my nose… what is the opposite of snort?)
  4. I open every curtain and blind in our home every single day (This allows me to see all of the dusting I am not going to do)
  5. I do my makeup and hair in front of a ‘happy light’ which results in some pretty groovy makeup (those things are BRIGHT!)
  6. I watch the frozen poopsicles accumulate in our back yard with no intention of dealing with them until Spring (does this count as ‘coping’?)
  7. I move my body … whether it is from my bed to the couch or from my couch to the gym … I’m going to take the win
  8. I don’t hibernate. Life continues on as usual except just add in horrible, no good, very cold temperatures (I. AM. CANADIAN.)
  9. I still eat the rainbow but often I have to rely on the frozen food section … which is ironic because it is cold out and frozen food makes me cold.  (also, frozen Kale is still Kale)
  10. I complain. A lot. But also, I know Spring is coming. It always does. If I have to white knuckle Winter, then so be it because Spring will come.

Project Heartbeep

Kids say the cutest things.  “I can hear your heartbeep Mama!”

Music is my heartbeep. Music gives me a case of the feels when my demeanor would otherwise flatline. Music sneaks into the crevices of my being and ministers to my very soul. In my darkest days, when depression has had a tight grip on me, music has penetrated the darkness and given me hope.

Find your heartbeep so that your days can be a little brighter too.

 

Project Ugly Sweat-er

This is the time of year when I have to work very hard to keep my depression under wraps. It is also the time of year when I get supremely bored, yet find everything boring.

I have been walking a lot lately.  I don’t particularly enjoy frosted lashes and frozen nose hair but if I don’t, I fear I will lose my mind. (I accidentally typed ‘wind’ instead of ‘mind’ and then subsequently thought of flatulence.)

Also, how is it possible to sweat and be cold at the same time???

Project Sister Act Deux – Back in the Habit of People-ing

When we got our Bozley neutered, we made the mistake of removing his cone of shame too early. He licked himself raw.

There is a tendency when we are going through stuff to allow our pain to become all consuming through isolation.

Proverbs 17:17 says; “A friend loves at all times, but a brother/sister (friend) is born for a time of adversity.”

Nobody has to do life alone. Let your friends see behind the curtain.

 

 

 

Project Sister Act

How can you tell the difference between a friend and a sister/friend (not sister wife)?

  1. You share knowing looks
  2. You share private jokes and mischievous plans
  3. You have seen one another in your skivvies
  4. You text one another almost exclusively in emojis and have designated ringtones
  5. You have cried together…. often… sometimes laugh cries, sometimes ugly cries
  6. You have laughed until you almost (or did) pee your pants
  7. You talk about bra sizes and loving pillows (yes that was a private joke..)
  8. When something happens, whether good, bad, or ugly you think to text them immediately
  9. You are always planning what you will do together next (water aerobics anyone??)
  10. You do life together…. REAL life together. You LOVE one another wholly and delight in the imperfections

Friendship is a huge part of the surviving depression equation. Please allow others into your journey. You won’t regret it. Vulnerability is beautiful. Friendship is beautiful.

 

Project `INCONCEIVABLE`

The English language has been hijacked! “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.” (Inigo Montoya – the Princess Bride)

What if the simple meaning of the ‘#metoo’ hashtag movement stretched beyond denouncing sexual harassment &/or assault? There are a lot of hurts in this crazy world of ours. What if ‘me too’ meant ‘I also’.

‘I also feel alone in a crowd.’

‘I also wake up at 4 a.m. fueled by anxiety.’

‘I also feel misunderstood.’

‘I also am afraid of spiders.’

`I also feel deeply sad sometimes.`

`I also want to auction off my children to the first bidder.`

`I also feel `less than`.`

`I also hate onions.`

`I also feel like I`m doing it wrong.`

`I also think putting on jeans fresh out of the dryer should count as my workout for the day.`

#metoo #ialso  — you are not alone.

What are some of your #ialso struggles?