Have you ever noticed that guys of a certain age or life stage are often fully surrendered to the inevitable ‘Dad bod’?
I think the attitude is an enviable one. There is an ease to the ‘Dad bod.’ There is a quiet confidence.
May we all settle into the ‘Dad bod’ mentality a little more today.
P.S. Also, crack (plumber’s) kills.
Here is a list of a few things I have said to actual humans recently:
At a soap store: “Would you like to pick one of those up today?” Me: “I don’t think so, it makes me think of boogers.”
” I just accidentally gave myself a super wedgie.” *said to a new acquaintance*
*to cashier at grocery store* “do you ever judge your customers for their purchases?”
“This place smells like armpits,… old person armpits.”
*to waitress* “did you know your seats make rude sounds? *wiggles bottom around vigorously to demonstrate.*
“this song makes me want to stab myself in the ear.”
re: kombucha “what does it taste like?” Me: “like death and vinegar …. but it is good for you…”
“My name is Sam,…. Starbucks Sam.”
Salesperson at clothing retailer “what do you think of this color?” Me: “I think it is a cross between vomit and baby poo so I guess I will pass, thanks.”
“Do I have something in my teeth? *smiles a toothy grin at a stranger*
“So, I just discovered that I put my underwear on backwards… again…”
*shoe squeak* “You have got to hear this!” *sachets across the floor*
We have clearly established that I may or may not lie about my name sometimes. The funniest was the time that my hubby and I went to a boat show and the salesperson was trying to establish a rapport through repeated use of my non-name. Sufficed to say, we didn’t buy a boat.
Someone asked me recently, ‘what do you do?’ and I was able to say without even an inkling of self-doubt or insecurity that “I take care of my home and family.” This is HUGE! There is no longer an inner compulsion to justify my existence with an itemized, alphabetized list of my accomplishments, degree, or pedigree. Progress. Growth. Peace.
1)I have had diarrhea for over 300 consecutive days (you’re welcome … feel free to stop reading now….)
2)I have worn my bathing suit bottom as underwear 3 times
3) I lit our food on fire 6 times
4) I slipped in dog drool daily
5) I peed myself 4 x (that is another story….)
6) I lied to 75 Starbucks Baristas about my name
7) I cleaned up cat vomit 6 times
8) I shared 150 memes with friends
9) I danced interpretively weekly in my kitchen
10) I messed up on radio song lyrics 2x / daily
11) I cancelled ‘date night’ with my husband every second week because ‘I had already taken off my bra’
12) I have 10% new grey hairs
13) I pocketed dozens of barely used Kleenexes to ‘save for later’
14) I shared daily ‘random thoughts with Jerral’ with friends and strangers alike
15) I have had 7 giggle fits ( NOT ENOUGH!!!)
16) I binge watched all seasons of ‘The Office’ over a 2 month period
17) I swam through a pool coated with caterpillars once (never again!)
18) I killed 6 plants
19) I swallowed 2 flies
20) I had 4 temper tantrums
I would love to hear some of your fun facts from 2017
I have learned the key to keeping a plant alive….
Trauma.
I have two hybrid hibiscus plants that have moved inside for the duration of the winter.
The one that my son accidentally backed into with our van and subsequently had to be transplanted is amazing! Each new bloom is like ‘pew! pew! pew!’ every second day.
The other one however, it is shy. Now that it has moved inside, it is very, very hesitant. Little by little, with a little coaxing I am confident that it will not only survive, but thrive.
These plants are not dissimilar from my life. HE makes beautiful things.
I made food that transported my family back to a different time, a different place, a different life.
I love that food can be so transformative for the mind and body. Food for me is family, friends, fellowship, feelings and sometimes epic fails. Thankfully, this one was a win!
Morocccan Rghaif/Msemen
Msemen – also known as rghaif – are Moroccan pancakes that have been folded into a square shape before being fried in a pan. This is a recipe for the dough used to make msemen. The dough is kneaded like bread dough until soft and smooth.
How to Fold & Make Msemen: -Flatten portions of the dough and fold them into squares. Frying the dough in a pan yields a layered pancake or flatbread that is crispy on the outside and chewy on the inside. – The recipe below uses a little semolina flour for texture and taste. The use of semolina is a matter of personal preference. Substitute more semolina for the white flour if you like a coarser texture. Or, you can omit the semolina entirely.
Prep Time: 30 minutes
Cook Time: 30 minutes
Total Time: 60 minutes
Yield: Approx. 20 msemen (4″ square)
Ingredients:
3 1/2 cups flour (340 g)
1/2 cup fine semolina (90g)
2 teaspoons sugar
2 teaspoons salt
1/4 teaspoon yeast
1 1/2 cups warm water (approx. 1/3 liter)
For folding and cooking the msemen:
1 1/2 cups vegetable oil
1/2 cup fine semolina
1/4 cup very soft unsalted butter
Preparation:
Mix all the dry ingredients in a large bowl.
Add 1 1/2 cups of warm water, and mix to form a dough. Add more water if necessary to make a dough that is soft and easy to knead, but not sticky. If the dough is too sticky to handle, add a little flour one tablespoon at a time.
Transfer the dough to a lightly floured work surface and knead by hand for 10 minutes, (or knead the dough in a stand mixer with dough hook for 5 minutes), until the dough is very smooth and elastic.
Proceed with folding and cooking the dough.
Serving Suggestions:
Serve the msemen plain, with butter and honey, or jam.
To make a syrup from butter and honey, simply melt equal portions of butter and honey in a pan until hot and bubbly. Carefully and quickly dip the msemen in the syrup and place on a serving platter.
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours??? …………..
NACHO CHEESE!
I recently was host to a large group of hungry women and I wanted to make something that was sure to please and that I could mass produce. And so began my adventure into nacho cheese…
My goal was cheese sauce that rivaled 7-11’s. Guess what happens when you fudge a recipe? Or quadruple it? Lumpy sauce. Thanks to google and my blender I redeemed my sauce and it was a big hit.
My mistakes in the kitchen and in life are always redeemable. #thankful#cheesefordays#broccoli
I kinda made this recipe :
I substituted evaporated skim milk to add a sweetness and sprinkled in cayenne for heat. (when my sauce separated I threw a portion into my blender with a little flour and voila … sauce restored to greatness)
https://selfproclaimedfoodie.com/green-chile-cheddar-queso/
The police just followed me home…
I may or may not be guilty of an occasional rolling stop….
Because I am an adult, I occasionally have to do stuff and things. Too much stuff and things results in necessary hibernation. I may need a tutorial on balance…. I have no idea what I am doing!
So, I thought it was about time that I share that I am a pro wrestler.
Some days I wrestle with whether or not I should wear pants.
Some days I wrestle with whether or not icing is a food group.
Some days I wrestle with whether or not it is ok to binge watch ‘The Office’ instead of laundry.
This is real life people!
All joking aside, I do wrestle daily with how I should spend my time. I want to make each moment count and at the end of the day I want my God to smile down on my choices. And on rough days I know that no matter what I do or don’t do… I am loved.
projectlipstickismysuperpower 