Tag: Funny

Project Picasso

My husband and I discovered this thing called ‘City Pass’ on our recent trip to Chicago. We wanted our money’s worth which resulted in us visiting at least one museum too many.

A few things I learned:

  1. I may have ADD.
  2. I am NOT smarter than a 5th Grader.
  3. I love pushing the buttons on displays.
  4. I don’t understand art.
  5. My husband and I are a good match (see 1-4 and apply to him.)

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Project Brussel Sprout

I discovered yesterday that reheated brussel sprouts explode in the microwave.

I feel like an evil, mastermind, culinary genius as I stroke my cat and riffle through my latest cookbook in search of inspiration.

Food helps me tap into unknown resources that feed my creativity and daily activities. My depression is kept a little better under wraps through the joy of cooking. Sometimes I blow up brussel sprouts in the microwave…. other days I create a healthy six course meal. There is joy in this journey of self discovery through food and depression.

 

Project Punctuation

I seem to be having an ongoing affair with the exclamation mark.

Periods are blah. Question marks leave me wanting. Question marks mixed with exclamation marks are more my speed.

‘Yay.’ is the sarcastic sister of ‘yay!’ ‘Right?’ can’t even begin to convey the same message as ‘Right?!?’…. RIGHT???!?!?!

And, since when, did I forget, how to properly, place my commas? And why are my colons so spastic?

My excessive and preferential treatment of the exclamation mark must be reflective of my positive state of mind. Yes? And if my punctuation says that I am not depressed, then surely it must be true. I dare say that this post is filled with useful and solid reasoning. #makingtheworldabetterplace

Project ‘What do you saaaa-aay?’

Have you ever felt like people think that you are depressed because you simply aren’t grateful enough?

Here are things I am thankful for today:

  1. I am grateful it isn’t Meatless Monday. The aftermath is unreal.
  2. I am grateful that both my children brushed their teeth today. I don’t enjoy garbage breath.
  3. I am grateful for the new toilet my husband is installing.
  4. I am grateful that I cooked so much food yesterday that I may not have to cook again until Friday.
  5. I am grateful that the wasp that stung me in the armpit didn’t sting me on the face.
  6. I am grateful that my body hurts so bad from my workout yesterday that it gets me out of vacuuming today.
  7. I am grateful that I don’t have to go to the dentist today.
  8. I am grateful that I am not allergic to coffee.
  9. I am grateful that my bug trap is full of bug carcasses.
  10. I am grateful that you are still reading this. 

 

Project I tawt I taw a puddy tat

I am pretty deathly allergic to our cat Koko. I am also Koko’s favorite person. I don’t know if Koko is using me for my body….. heat ;D or if he just instinctively knows I need a little extra TLC. It is always an event when he decides to knead me with his needle sharp claws causing me to break out in hives. #feelingthelove

I am so grateful that on days when my household is off doing their ‘thang that I have 3 furry friends that make me smile every day.

Project Yogi

I was told that I need to make a concerted effort to reduce my stress level with things like practicing deep breathing and doing some light yoga.

I am not surprised. I wake up almost daily with feelings of anxiety. That said, I am getting better and better at coping daily.  It must be working.

 

Project Dorkbike

I did a bad, bad thing this morning. I worked out!!! I fear tomorrow when I discover I can’t feel my legs and have to butt scoot down the stairs.  #worthit???!?

Today I tortured my body. Tomorrow, I get to go on a leisurely ride on my dorkbike. It is called balance.

Can you believe that I still haven’t found someone willing to let me put a beret on their Yorkie and carry it around in my basket alongside my wheel of stinky cheese and fresh baked baguette? #lifegoals

dork bike

 

 

 

Project Sideswipe

I have a gambling problem. I like to gamble with my underwear. The result is either: a) my husband does the laundry after I ‘fail’ to get the hint about doing our laundry *snicker snicker* or b) I have to wear my swimsuit bottom as underwear.

When life happens but laundry doesn’t; I have a plan. I reach up to my Father in heaven, I reach out to my family and friends, and I reach in and tell myself it is ok so that I can face another day.

Now you’ll have to excuse me… I am out of undies.