I am pretty sure I was recognized from behind today. (Not by my behind but by my perma-bedhead. )
Can we all just be honest for a moment? Don’t we all have a secret need/desire/want to be seen, recognized and known? Isn’t that kind of the point of social media?!
So today, instead of being known for my wacky bed head I would like to challenge myself (and you) to be known for being kind, for being present, for being different in the best possible way,
*I acknowledge that yes, I don’t want to be invisible … but it is Christ in me who I really want to be known and recognized as I go about life.
An anniversary date is coming up this week. A baby girl I had the privilege of being Mommy to from birth to 14 months old left this world way too soon.
In therapy (this is a much needed resource to help me through) it was suggested I take time to honour her daily. Please indulge me. I never want to forget the beauty of my sweet girl.
I GET to remember her. What a privilege. What a joy to have been her mommy. To know she knew love at such an important time in her life. To know she felt safe and nurtured for the majority of her life. To know she is safe and happy now in her heavenly home … this I take solace in. She is not hungry or scared. She knows no pain and has complete peace.
Thank you sweet girl for the time we had. You are engraved in my heart forever. Until we meet again. That reunion will be oh so sweet.
Did you know that you get to make the rules for your own life? Yes, those rules should come from an alignment with who you are and what you are about. (I am called to this life and role and my faith in Jesus is the undergirding of my everything.)
For me success changes from day to day. Today dressing for success involved putting on my workout clothes and getting down to business (move my body.) This is something I get to do and choose to do to bio hack my bad attitude.
My life today involves 3-4 sick babies/toddler/preschoolers (one of which escaped her crib like a ninja at 4 am — her latest feat in a long list of parkour exercises she performs daily.) What more can I do? Fetal position? Head in the sand? Pint of ice cream? Nope, none of these will help me ‘feel’ better.
I still have to be a wife, mother, friend, daughter, human. So I am going to play with my latest toys (heavier kettlebells — hello 50lbs! (*pssst… you are kicking my butt mister.)
How do you overcome a rough start to the day? Let’s learn from one another.
I have done it. I have booked my theory exam to become a Canfit pro Personal Training Specialist. As all things in my life, I find correlations between what I am learning and my daily happenings.
I was studying yesterday in a very noisy food court as it is less noisy (and demanding) than my own home. I was on the chapter about foundational movement practices and how to adapt those movements to your client based on their level. I am my own best/worst client.
Some days I feel like all of the pieces of life are passing me by. I struggle daily to do all the things. My foundations seem to be solid but progress is slow in all areas… or so I thought…
It turns out that if you randomly decide to learn how to do something and practice a tiny bit every day, that eventually you will be able to do the thing. And then the thing will actually get easier.
I am going to take the win. I am going to embrace the now. And I am going to take all of those teeny tiny steps towards whatever the thing of the moment is; until I master it and move on to add the next thing. I am grateful for today. What baby steps are part of your wins this hour/week/month/year/decade? (Obviously keeping all the babes loved, fed, clothed and safe is a big daily win for me.)
I spent way too long last summer trying to talk myself into jumping off our boat into the lake. When did I become the fearful one? How can I be paralyzed in some ways and so free in others?
In fitness I have learned about muscular hyper mobility as well as impingements. How can one body be so free in some ways and literally/stuck/ frozen/limited in either strength or mobility in others?
I love the word ‘undergird’ .. mostly because it makes me think of girdles .. and I think ‘girdle’ is a funny word. In order to find freedom in my mind and body I have had to go to the core. The root of who I am. The core of my being. The part the girdle holds in place. 😜
My days are not my own right now. My life is not my own for this very busy season. But that doesn’t make me less ‘me.’ If anything, I am more ‘me’ because everything else has been stripped away. It has been stripped away by a pandemic, trauma and loss, our life stage with all of our children and the fact we are aging. Mid life crisis anyone??!
Life is full. Life is crazy. Life can be chaotic. It can be stressful. It is definitely tiring. But our core, the core of our family, of our ‘us’-ness is still consistent.
My core is strong, dysfunctional in some ways but stable in others. But as the plumb line of my life slowly aligns with truth and heals, I know that things will feel better and I will get better at the ‘more’ of life.
Fear doesn’t get to define me. I will not be held back by my body, toxic thoughts, toxic relationships or poor habits. These are things I can control. These are things we all have power over.
What method do you use to find your alignment in your life, your plumb line?
I have about 1 hr in the evening that is kind of my own. As an investment in my academic pursuits, the past few months, I have watched ‘Parks and Recreation’ in its entirety. I feel like this time has made me a better person. Who doesn’t enjoy Amy Poehler? Chris Pratt? Rob Lowe and more ?
Simplicity seems to be the theme of my current circumstances. With that in mind, I introduce to you Andy Dwyer’s 5 Karate moves to success (with my commentary and adaptations):
Make something (this could be as simple as making your bed, or as complicated as making sourdough —thank you pandemic for that.. the key is creativity- this is an important practice for our brains.)
Learn something (The options are endless – wordle anyone? I have done online language learning.)
Karate chop something (Move your body yo!! Have some exercise ‘snacks’ (credit @careerfit_mom) sprinkled throughout your day. Working out doesn’t have to be a big complicated thing! (I also enjoy pretend kicking and punching)
Try something new (maybe it is kale, maybe full contact football .. again, the options are limitless)
Sometimes I choose to do some things because they are fun. As of January 1, 2022, a lot of people are trying to change their bodies, mindsets, habits and more.
We lay out our ‘resolutions’ and plan using SMART goals. (specific, measurable, attainable, rad, terrific?) — ok, I may have forgotten what the letters stand for.. (R-realistic, T-timely.) Seeing as I forgot when New Year’s Eve was this year and also don’t know what day of the week it is, perhaps SMART goals aren’t for me.
Instead, I am choosing to sprinkle in a bit of play. Not just play with my kids but play for the sake of playing. My form of play currently involves skipping, jumping, dancing, hopping, leaping and crawling. Imagine ‘playing’ and accidentally reaping the benefit of forming a regular practice of body movement. And that regular movement subsequently makes you stronger, leaner, more limber and more importantly releases all of those happy happy hormones that make each day feel just a bit more manageable because of a over abundant sense of well being.
How do you play? How could you incorporate play into your life? You may not want to leap around like I do but maybe you do want to climb up a snowy hillside and slide down on a piece of cardboard. The sky is the limit where our minds and bodies are concerned when we set out with a joyful mindset.
I would love for you to engage with me by brainstorming on what play looks like for you. (This is beyond exercise people! This is embracing your inner child and remembering how to have fun!)
I seem to be accumulating an abundance of travel mugs lately. That may be because of my need to a) use the adult equivalent to a sippy cup b) preserve the integrity of my coffee temperature as it often gets put aside. I have spilled my coffee 4 times even with my new ‘sippy cups’…
I’ve been trying on a few subscriptions for size in the past couple of months. Our family now has a bone broth subscription and I have a monthly flower subscription. On top of that we are using a local meal kit service, a cleaning service and I have a couple of fitness classes too. Phew! Did I make you tired just listing all of that? Failure to plan is a plan to fail. (Did I just swear? I feel like that could be taken as curse words for someone..)
We have been in a holding pattern which has allowed my very busy brain some space to plan ahead. Our family is growing again. We shall soon have 4 children 4 and under. Plus two bigs who also live under our roof. It is a lot. This is a lot. Planning is required.
I’ve had to ask for help. I’ve had to hire help. I sometimes have to beg for help (“here, take this baby.. I am going to have a bath.”)
There are pieces to the puzzle I haven’t quite figured out and others I am trying on for size.
Overall I am feeling extremely grateful. And in the moments when I feel overwhelmed I will stop to smell the literal rose in my flower bouquet and sip some coffee, bone broth or just plain enjoy a crazy meal with my crazy family.
I have had to pare down my daily activities in recent days. I have done this in the name of both self care and survival.
Pushing pause on a few things that matter to me has been hard. And in the interest of mental health I need to find ways to integrate some of those things back in.
One thing I have added into our lives is playing music that either soothes or energizes me. I may also be singing along because that is just part of how I connect with my music.
Along those same lines, I have added in small Zumba sessions because it lifts my mood instantaneously and serves as exercise at a time when I find it next to impossible to have my hands free of babies.
I read the smallest little bit of my Bible app daily to make sure my mind is focused on things that guide my heart and mind in a way that serves myself and my family well.
I’ve been having to talk myself down the past several days. Our bodies makeup is quite astounding. Even when we think we are managing, our bodies are fairly adept at communicating otherwise. Chemically our bodies are intuitive and our brains communicate to the rest of our bodies in a way that should eventually get our attention. Ie tight muscles anyone? Ground down teeth?
Anxiety isn’t top of my list of what ails me. Being overwhelmed would be a better descriptor of what some days feel like. There are a lot of moving parts to this crazy life of ours. And I have fairly high expectations of myself. I am perpetually having to ease off the gas in my life to allow for reality to set in.
How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. How does this busy and exhausted mama manage all of the things? Quite frankly, she doesn’t. She prioritizes and continues to adjust her expectations on the daily.
That mean girl, that cheeky, rude ‘devil on my shoulder’ keeps telling me I am not enough. That I do not do enough. That I should be able to do it all. Today, I choose to talk back to that internal voice and say ‘ENOUGH!’ Whatever I accomplish today, it is enough. I will speak kindness to myself and others. End of story.
May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to YOU oh LORD my GOD. The rest will take care of itself.
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