Project Floor time

Our pup loves mud puddles and it just so happens our backyard is a giant mud puddle.

Floor time has become part of my new normal. Between puppy play time, baby play time and diaper changes, I practically live on the floor.

I have learned some lessons from the floor.

I am not as young as I used to be. (The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.)
Dirt is fleeting.
Relationship trumps mess every time.

Project Leggo my Eggo

Depression is a jerk and a liar.

But depression is also the reason why I have the quiet confidence in the now…how I choose to spend my time on the good days and being OK in the stillness of the bad ones.

Depression is the reason that I have quiet confidence in the what…what I do with my limited emotional and physical stamina. My depression is like a sieve that allows me to really hone into what is important.

Depression is the reason I have quiet confidence in the who… I am fiercely loved and I love fiercely. My God is faithful.

Is it scandalous for me to say that I am grateful for this struggle?

Project Sister Act

How can you tell the difference between a friend and a sister/friend (not sister wife)?

You share knowing looks
You share private jokes and mischievous plans
You have seen one another in your skivvies
You text one another almost exclusively in emojis and have designated ringtones
You have cried together…. often… sometimes laugh cries, sometimes ugly cries
You have laughed until you almost (or did) pee your pants
You talk about bra sizes and loving pillows (yes that was a private joke..)
When something happens, whether good, bad, or ugly you think to text them immediately
You are always planning what you will do together next (water aerobics anyone??)
You do life together…. REAL life together. You LOVE one another wholly and delight in the imperfections

Friendship is a huge part of the surviving depression equation. Please allow others into your journey. You won’t regret it. Vulnerability is beautiful. Friendship is beautiful.

Project Core Strengthening

It is true winter in my city. I know this because: a) my face hurts b) I am wearing socks (hate) c) abs of steel are required to walk down the street while navigating ice ridges and grooves.

With true winter in my city also comes a new year.

My #1 objective in 2018 is to strengthen my core. I intend to achieve this by:

Remembering daily who I am
Remembering daily Whose I am
Seek out daily opportunities to be who I am by touching the lives of others

Project Worth it

I am totally convinced that when we are able to take our focus off of ourselves and focus on loving one another, that we win against depression.

One of my loves has left this world and I am very sad. I want to celebrate my sweet Buttercup because she was the best. Loving her was worth it. Babybuttercup

Things I learned from Buttercup:

1) Love faithfully. (She has stuck by my side through everything)

2) Play heartily. (Nobody can run faster than Buttercup towards a mound of dirt)

3) Nap regularly. (I think we all would be better people if we napped more)

4) Don’t limit yourself. (She squeezed herself into so many tiny places)

5) Make everyone your friend. (Buttercup never met someone she didn’t like)

6) Smile often. (Even in her last days she could muster a smile)

7) Don’t be afraid to get a little dirty. (Buttercup loved to play in dirt, eat dirt, bury things in the dirt)

8) Cheese is a superfood. (Buttercup could hear the cheese drawer open from a mile away)

9) Be patient. (Buttercup put up with an infinite number of houseguests of all ages and species)

10) Be who you are. (Buttercup wasn’t embarrassed of anything)

I Love you Buttercup. I Will miss you forever.