Project Honour

An anniversary date is coming up this week. A baby girl I had the privilege of being Mommy to from birth to 14 months old left this world way too soon.

In therapy (this is a much needed resource to help me through) it was suggested I take time to honour her daily. Please indulge me. I never want to forget the beauty of my sweet girl.

I GET to remember her. What a privilege. What a joy to have been her mommy. To know she knew love at such an important time in her life. To know she felt safe and nurtured for the majority of her life. To know she is safe and happy now in her heavenly home … this I take solace in. She is not hungry or scared. She knows no pain and has complete peace.

Thank you sweet girl for the time we had. You are engraved in my heart forever. Until we meet again. That reunion will be oh so sweet.

Project Skip Leap

I spent way too long last summer trying to talk myself into jumping off our boat into the lake. When did I become the fearful one? How can I be paralyzed in some ways and so free in others?

In fitness I have learned about muscular hyper mobility as well as impingements. How can one body be so free in some ways and literally/stuck/ frozen/limited in either strength or mobility in others?

I love the word ‘undergird’ .. mostly because it makes me think of girdles .. and I think ‘girdle’ is a funny word. In order to find freedom in my mind and body I have had to go to the core. The root of who I am. The core of my being. The part the girdle holds in place. 😜

My days are not my own right now. My life is not my own for this very busy season. But that doesn’t make me less ‘me.’ If anything, I am more ‘me’ because everything else has been stripped away. It has been stripped away by a pandemic, trauma and loss, our life stage with all of our children and the fact we are aging. Mid life crisis anyone??!

Life is full. Life is crazy. Life can be chaotic. It can be stressful. It is definitely tiring. But our core, the core of our family, of our ‘us’-ness is still consistent.

My core is strong, dysfunctional in some ways but stable in others. But as the plumb line of my life slowly aligns with truth and heals, I know that things will feel better and I will get better at the ‘more’ of life.

Fear doesn’t get to define me. I will not be held back by my body, toxic thoughts, toxic relationships or poor habits. These are things I can control. These are things we all have power over.

What method do you use to find your alignment in your life, your plumb line?

Project Mini Me

I have come to accept the thought that even a smaller version of me is still worth pursuing.

I am supposed to be in a 5 day intensive training to become a personal trainer starting today.

If you have been following my life at all, you are aware that we have been walking through extreme hardship, grief and a glimmer of hope coming our way. I have pushed this goal of becoming a personal trainer to 2022 when I can give myself and the course the attention required to be successful.

Today is December 1 and I asked myself what is something I can do that moves me towards my goal. Then I asked, what is my goal anyway?? This morning I lovingly adjusted my expectations and did a mini workout. I have decided that this month I will give a sneak peek of some of what I offer and provide some fun mini workouts on my website. I will share that later.

A smaller version of myself is still the pursuit of wellness with a large dose of grace. If you find yourself weary, overwhelmed, making choices that don’t honour your body and who you are meant to be in this season then maybe you would like to join me. Stay tuned.

This is me in the wee hours of the morning, in my pyjamas with an infant strapped on my chest. If I can do this so can you. Let’s do this!