Project Basic

I have had to pare down my daily activities in recent days. I have done this in the name of both self care and survival.

Pushing pause on a few things that matter to me has been hard. And in the interest of mental health I need to find ways to integrate some of those things back in.

One thing I have added into our lives is playing music that either soothes or energizes me. I may also be singing along because that is just part of how I connect with my music.

Along those same lines, I have added in small Zumba sessions because it lifts my mood instantaneously and serves as exercise at a time when I find it next to impossible to have my hands free of babies.

I read the smallest little bit of my Bible app daily to make sure my mind is focused on things that guide my heart and mind in a way that serves myself and my family well.

So very basic. So very necessary.

Project Clumsy

Not a day goes by when I don’t discover some unknown bruise on my body. I may run into a thing or two, or be clambered on by thing 1 and 2 (the toddlers) &/or beast 1 and 2 (the bernards.)

I also have some unseen booboos. These wounds typically manifest in the wee hours of the night when it is quiet. Yes, believe it or not… there is quiet… and there is alone time with my own thoughts. Every mistake I have ever made, every misspoken word, embarrassing moment, perceived failure, broken relationship comes back and torments me and tries to rob me of peace.

Wouldn’t it be astounding if I could write here and now, in this moment… that I have figured out how to deal? Moment by moment, hour by hour, day by day… I sometimes am victorious in taking those thoughts and practicing grace and forgiveness for myself. Other times, not so much. There have been more of the latter lately.

During covid physical distancing and isolation, I have found that those thoughts have been coming back on repeat,.. day after day. And have been left me feeling raw, worn out, and alone.

There is hope though… because I believe in Truth. And that Truth, which I choose to dive into day after day comes to me in the form of spending time with the Healer Immanuel and immersing myself in music that washes over me with waves of peace so that today… today can be just a bit better than yesterday.

This song is one that I sing day after day. It is my truth.

p.s. I didn’t want to write this. It isn’t funny. It isn’t light. But it is honest and sometimes that is enough.

Project Earworm

Celine Dion!!!

Did I just date myself? That’s right… I said it. I am a Celine Dion fan, so there.

Approximately a year and a half ago I had the thought that if nothing else… I was to love wholly and sing over the baby/& or babies brought to our home through foster care.

When words fail, sometimes the song that comes up in our mind/heart just seems to do the trick. Healing balm to a hurting soul via earworm.

Little man has something up today,… the cause has yet to be determined. Teeth are always a very real possibility. On days like this, we look one another in the eyes and just sing together. It is so very precious. So very healing. So very pure. It is also the perfect picture of what I believe to be true of my Heavenly Father who rejoices over me with singing… & He quiets me with His love. (Zephaniah 3:16-17)