Project Dress for Success

Did you know that you get to make the rules for your own life? Yes, those rules should come from an alignment with who you are and what you are about. (I am called to this life and role and my faith in Jesus is the undergirding of my everything.)

For me success changes from day to day. Today dressing for success involved putting on my workout clothes and getting down to business (move my body.) This is something I get to do and choose to do to bio hack my bad attitude.

My life today involves 3-4 sick babies/toddler/preschoolers (one of which escaped her crib like a ninja at 4 am — her latest feat in a long list of parkour exercises she performs daily.) What more can I do? Fetal position? Head in the sand? Pint of ice cream? Nope, none of these will help me ‘feel’ better.

I still have to be a wife, mother, friend, daughter, human. So I am going to play with my latest toys (heavier kettlebells — hello 50lbs! (*pssst… you are kicking my butt mister.)

How do you overcome a rough start to the day? Let’s learn from one another.

Project Travel Mug

I seem to be accumulating an abundance of travel mugs lately. That may be because of my need to a) use the adult equivalent to a sippy cup b) preserve the integrity of my coffee temperature as it often gets put aside. I have spilled my coffee 4 times even with my new ‘sippy cups’…

I’ve been trying on a few subscriptions for size in the past couple of months. Our family now has a bone broth subscription and I have a monthly flower subscription. On top of that we are using a local meal kit service, a cleaning service and I have a couple of fitness classes too. Phew! Did I make you tired just listing all of that? Failure to plan is a plan to fail. (Did I just swear? I feel like that could be taken as curse words for someone..)

We have been in a holding pattern which has allowed my very busy brain some space to plan ahead. Our family is growing again. We shall soon have 4 children 4 and under. Plus two bigs who also live under our roof. It is a lot. This is a lot. Planning is required.

I’ve had to ask for help. I’ve had to hire help. I sometimes have to beg for help (“here, take this baby.. I am going to have a bath.”)

There are pieces to the puzzle I haven’t quite figured out and others I am trying on for size.

Overall I am feeling extremely grateful. And in the moments when I feel overwhelmed I will stop to smell the literal rose in my flower bouquet and sip some coffee, bone broth or just plain enjoy a crazy meal with my crazy family.

Project Backtalk

I’ve been having to talk myself down the past several days. Our bodies makeup is quite astounding. Even when we think we are managing, our bodies are fairly adept at communicating otherwise. Chemically our bodies are intuitive and our brains communicate to the rest of our bodies in a way that should eventually get our attention. Ie tight muscles anyone? Ground down teeth?

Anxiety isn’t top of my list of what ails me. Being overwhelmed would be a better descriptor of what some days feel like. There are a lot of moving parts to this crazy life of ours. And I have fairly high expectations of myself. I am perpetually having to ease off the gas in my life to allow for reality to set in.

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. How does this busy and exhausted mama manage all of the things? Quite frankly, she doesn’t. She prioritizes and continues to adjust her expectations on the daily.

That mean girl, that cheeky, rude ‘devil on my shoulder’ keeps telling me I am not enough. That I do not do enough. That I should be able to do it all. Today, I choose to talk back to that internal voice and say ‘ENOUGH!’ Whatever I accomplish today, it is enough. I will speak kindness to myself and others. End of story.

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to YOU oh LORD my GOD. The rest will take care of itself.

Project snoresville

I am writing this from our local outlet mall parking lot. This was by no means my plan.

I can’t help but smile as I listen to soft snores from the backseat. This is our first time out in a few days. (2 babies plus the mommy = ‘our’.) Our home has been a snot fest (sorry… gross…) and so I quarantined us.

So, with infinite wisdom I decided today we would have an outing because we are mostly better … even though my heart rate is over 100 as my body continues to fight this bug and both babies have permaboogers crusted on their noses.

May I add that our first stop of the day was Walmart for some much needed supplies. Mid-shop the power went out and so we subsequently had to abandon our cart.

It may sound like I am griping but I promise you I am not. I am happy. Soft snores mean happier (and hopefully healthier) boys and sunshine streaming in through my window while sipping coffee (#3) as I type this is just what I need.

Happy Monday all!!

Project all about that bass

Surprisingly, I haven’t put my underwear on backwards or inside out… lately. I also seem to mostly match and rarely go out with puke in my pocket. (Did you even know it is possible to get puke in your pocket? Trust me. It is not only possible… it is probable if your most common attire is overalls which are known for an abundance of pockets)

Wow. That digressed quickly. I just wanted to pop on here and put out a little blurb re reasonable expectations.

I have had to adjust my expectations of myself so that I don’t fester in an over abundance of mom guilt.

My expectation now is that all humans and animals who reside in this domicile will be kept alive through being fed and cared for in the best way I can in this moment in time. (Question- does McDonald’s offer a rewards program for frequent visits? Asking for a friend…)

My expectation of my appearance is that I will neither wow nor leave people wondering. (Read- I wear clothes that are functional and not covered in puke but covered in cookies is still sometimes acceptable.)

My expectation is no longer that I will get a full night’s sleep but rather that I will sleep when I have opportunity to do so. (Read -naps=life)

So how does depression figure in all this? My baseline of self care has adjusted a lot. And self care is a big part of managing depression.

First off… MEDICATION! Yup. Still doing that. Still helps.

Secondly, Movement. Yup. I vacuum. I walk. I dance. I do extra trips up and down the stairs. Occasionally I mall walk. Sometimes I do actual cardio or strength training. But right now, in a period of adjustment I am just doing life. This season is all too short and much too sweet to do anything more. Babies are not babies forever.

Other ingredients in my recipe for this life with babies:

Showering. Eating as well as I can. Multivitamin. Lots of water. So much coffee!!! And the piece de resistance — a sense of humour, delight in each moment (even when I dip my hands in poo… again), being present with these precious baby boys and loving on them as they grow in wisdom and stature (Read- one is a climber and daily outsmarting me as he gets more proficient in said climbing.)

Project gifted

This baby is incredibly blessed to somehow magically pee out of his diaper with such force that not only did it splat on the floor but soaked my shirt and somehow not his own!! He has also managed to upchuck inside my shirt so I think that is just the gift that keeps on giving.

I am pretty proud of my own personal talent… I can wiggle my ears… so there is that at least.

I love how we are all continually learning and growing but how we also have things about us that just are. One thing that ‘ just is ‘ about me is my love for young humans. Although I am tired, I am daily exerting my energies within my giftedness and passion and so I am at peace and filled with joy.

To go to bed at the end of the day exhausted from doing good and working wholeheartedly within my ‘just is’ is totally worth it. Now if I could just figure out how to take care of myself a little better within that I would be golden. (Says the woman with a week’s worth of dry shampoo in her hair)

Project The Who

Did someone get excited for a second thinking I was going to talk about legendary band The Who’?

I thought it would be more fun to tell you that the toddler in our home has been super into eating and drinking like a dog. I guess that is because the ‘siblings’ he is around the most are the furry ones.

In the past couple of days he has added to his repertoire of fun tricks and now says “wash, wash, wash the face” as he licks his hands and rubs his face. Pretty sure this mannerism came from our cat. Did I mention we have a cat too?

If you are counting that means: 2 adult children (18&20), 2 baby boys (23 1/2 mos and 6 mos), 2 Saint Bernards and a cat.

So, acting like a dog or cat adds up.

If you do your own math, and evaluate your top peeps (or animals I guess..) would you be pleased to discover that your mannerisms and actions have taken on their actions and mannerisms?

I hope to err on the side of spending time with quality people who rub off in me in a good way. I would hate to discover that somehow I have unintentionally become someone less than who I am supposed to be.

P.s. I love Jesus & endeavour ultimately to be more like Him.